When presented baldly, it can seem self-evident, but it is remarkable how few managers really adhere to the approach that when you treat people well, with respect, and give them some responsibility, they are more likely to perform better. This is the core of people-centred or human-centred leadership, and it works.

A swathe of academic and consulting literature supports this proposition. The Fortune 100 ‘Best Companies to Work For’ outperforms the longitudinal average performance of quoted US businesses by nearly 4% a year over two decades. That is a remarkable return.

Barry-Wehmiller Industries, a conglomerate led by the champion of ‘Truly Human Leadership’, Bob Chapman, that purchases underperforming and dysfunctional businesses and turns them around with its people-focused approach, reports a CAGR of 18% since its first acquisition in 1987, compared to the S&Ps equivalent average of 10% over the same period. (See: ‘CAGR of the Stock Market’ Moneychimp.com.)

So why is everyone not just being nicer, more helpful, and more supportive of their employees? In short, why aren’t we becoming more likeable? Karen Cates, a leadership consultant and adjunct professor at Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, observes, “My concern about being over-focused on ‘likeability’ is that this becomes a prescription for just being ‘nice in the workplace’, and while being nice, and being civil is a good thing, it is not how to be a good leader.”

In fact, Cates suggests that merely ‘putting on a happy face’ in an effort to appear likeable not only brings limited to no tangible benefits, it may actually lead people to mistrust you, especially if this is a clear change of behaviour from a previous one. Cates makes the distinction between how leaders are perceived. ‘Likeable’ leaders may be perceived as good leaders, but they may not fully be achieving what is required of them.

Emotional intelligence studies suggest that adaptability to different contexts is a key capability for effective leaders, and those who can change their approach depending on the shifting demands of a given situation are going to be much more effective.

Leaders should not put likeability above effectiveness. There are times when the ‘humour and smiles’ need to go, and a ‘let’s get this done approach’ is required. Cates goes further: "Even the ‘nasty boss approach’ can be really effective, but in short, small doses to get everyone’s attention and say, ‘hey, we’ve got to make some changes around here’. You can then create, with an earnest approach, a more likeable persona as you move forward. Likeability is a good thing to have in your leadership toolkit, but it shouldn’t be the biggest hammer in the box.”

Cates recognizes, however, that in a simplistic world, ‘likeable’ is better than a fear-based leadership approach. “Fear-based leadership takes up a lot of energy, keeping people on their toes, always worried about interacting with the boss, and it drives things underground; people hide themselves and hide issues to keep out of the spotlight. Likeability can be the opposite side of that coin, as it draws people out. They’re glad to see you because they know something good is going to happen from the exchanges that you have.”

For Cates, this highlights an issue that people sometimes struggle with. While leaders must react consistently to situations, that does not mean their reaction has to be the same every time. Rather, they cannot be erratic in their behaviour. Urgent situations may require urgent responses; complex ones may require thoughtful analysis; and enduring ones may require a different approach altogether. All have different reactions, but leaders need to maintain their style of response and apply that to each consistently. “Likeability can contribute to a sense of safety and a sense of trust, and that’s important as long as it’s consistent. You don’t always have to be likeable, but you have to be likeable when people are expecting you to be likeable.”

While likeability is therefore not a panacea or silver bullet for leadership, it is still something well worth fostering. Cates notes that it is not difficult to be likeable with people you get along with and like-minded with yourself, but the task becomes a lot more challenging with people whom you do not ‘click with’, and who may rub you up the wrong way.

The first trick is to try and identify ‘commonalities’ that may not be and likely will not be work-related, i.e., places you have visited, sports you are both interested in and shared hobbies.

"While being nice and civil is a good thing, it is not how to be a good leader."

The second trick is to increase your mindfulness of the workspace around you. Increase the sensitivity of your antennae for others. “Remember to acknowledge people when you see them. Acknowledge their work and acknowledge their successes. It’s surprising how many folks don’t turn around in the middle of a really tough job and go, ‘Hey, you know, we’re making some great progress here. Thank you.”

Keep in mind that your colleagues are individuals with lives beyond the workplace as well as in it. Good leaders remember to ask after children who are ill, for instance, but also understand their people’s individual career goals and aspirations. “When people feel that their leaders are trying to help them with the things that are personal to them, not just their personal lives, but their personal career goals, their personal strengths, that mindfulness can make a huge difference to likeability.”

The next level beyond this mindfulness is to build empathy with both individuals and the team by being aware of their current energy. “I’m a big fan of saying, ‘Boy, this group seems frazzled today,’ or ‘You seem really angry about the situation. We better talk about it. Just acknowledging that can make people feel more a part of the team and more effective as a member of the team,” says Cates.

As with any behaviour change, these things need to be practised and iterated to become essential habits. Being likeable is clearly to be encouraged; it helps on a number of fronts, but it is not sufficient in itself to achieve high performance. Alternative leadership behaviours and responses are also needed. The best time to start acquiring and practising this mix is, as always, right now.