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In today’s fast-changing, complex world, leaders are called to evolve beyond the traditional top-down, ‘power-over’ approach that once defined authority. That model, rooted in command, control, and the provision of ready-made solutions, is no longer suitable for navigating the interconnected, adaptive challenges we now collectively face.

Instead, leaders can choose a ‘power-with’ approach, leveraging secure base coaching skills where the goal is not to fix others or tell them what to do but to co-create the conditions where potential is unleashed and people can ‘play to thrive.’

This approach requires leaders who understand that sustainable performance is a social phenomenon; one that is co-created with, not extracted from, the people doing the work. In other words, we have reached the moment when coaching fluency has become a key leadership capability.

Sustainable performance is a social phenomenon; one that is cocreated with, not extracted from, the people doing the work.

The ‘power-with’ stance does not imply indecision or abdication. It is anchored in the insight that the most robust solutions are socially created and are as much about the emotional energy people feel as about the logic of the plan. A grounded leader knows they cannot achieve results alone. We are a social species and thus, to fulfil our potential, we need a network of secure bases to both support and stretch us beyond our self or societally imposed conditioning.

Organizations that embrace a coaching approach can cultivate a culture that enhances well-being and drives sustainable success. By providing a foundation of trust and safety, secure base leadership enables people to explore their potential and overcome obstacles without fear of judgment or failure. This fosters resilience, creativity, and adaptive thinking; it empowers individuals, teams, and organizations to take risks, to innovate and perform at their best, despite external pressures.

Drawing its foundational roots from the work of John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, and Carl Rogers, Secure Base Leadership involves caring, daring, and sharing with others, whether individuals, teams, or organizations. The biggest challenge for those working with these concepts is the ‘AND.’ It is about showing an interest in others and then stretching them outside of their comfort zone to achieve more than they may have thought possible. Secure Base Leadership takes courage: to first connect and then to challenge others with reflections and observations for continuous improvement, and to share in an open and vulnerable way.

Organizations that embrace a coaching approach can cultivate a culture that enhances well-being and drives sustainable success.

Secure Base Leaders work from the premise that each person is the expert of themselves. Therefore, they are not ‘rescuing’ or ‘saving’ the executive or ‘telling’ them what to do. Instead, they are working together in the exploration of the person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours to identify areas for growth and development. This collaborative, power-with approach encourages people to take ownership of their learning and development journey, nurturing a deeper sense of self-awareness and empowerment.

Play to Thrive vs. Play to Win

Traditional play-to-win cultures emphasize beating competitors. Thriving, by contrast, centers on growth, learning, and well-being; conditions that paradoxically produce more sustainable high performance. When people demonstrate respect, interest, and support, and challenge them to take risks and stretch outside comfort zones, they find themselves in the ‘play to thrive’ space. It takes courage to be in this quadra;t, however, this ‘power-with’ approach releases productive energy, and it is where creativity, curiosity, and innovation flourish. People co-create the conditions where they can thrive healthily and sustainably, contributing to psychological health and wellbeing.

There are three key categories for cultivating a secure base approach: Conscious Choice, Constructive Challenge, and Courageous Communication. Within these areas are nine characteristics of secure base leaders.

The company recognized that traditional directive leadership styles were no longer adequate. A coaching-led culture provided a foundation for navigating this complexity with more agility and humanity

Display on a day-to-day basis, drawn from research for my book Care to Dare, written with George Kohlreiser and Duncan Coombe, that looked into high-performing executives, as rated by their employees. These characteristics are learned behaviours. Therefore, we can always practice and develop our skills. A sample coaching question has been included for each characteristic.

1 | Conscious Choice

Humans possess the remarkable agency to make conscious choices, enabling them to intervene in habitual and conditioned patterns that may limit their potential. Neuroscience research reveals that the brain’s neural pathways can be rewired through consistent daily practices, such as gratitude and appreciative inquiry, to see the opportunities in any situation. By embracing intentional practices, individuals can cultivate a more proactive approach to life’s challenges, ultimately leading to greater well-being and success.

The three characteristics that fall under the Conscious Choice category are

• Stays Calm

• Accepts the Individual, and

• Focuses on the Positive.

Stays Calm

Stay calm and mindful. In uncertainty, calmness contains anxiety and builds trust. Emotions are contagious, so composure, paired with direction and empathy, reassures people that the situation is manageable. Breathwork and mindfulness practices support staying calm.

Sample coaching question: “If we were feeling calm and grounded, what might be the next natural step?”

Accepts the Individual

Offer unconditional positive regard. Separate the person from the problem and approach differences with curiosity. Acceptance lowers threat, increases inclusion, and makes people more open to stretch and feedback. Practicing compassion supports this characteristic.

Sample coaching question: “What might be driving the behaviour, and how can we separate the person from the problem?”

Focuses on the Positive

Acknowledge pain, create space for grief, and then reframe to learning and opportunity to ‘name the sharks, then focus on the dolphins.’ Cultivate a sense of hope and purpose to generate energy and forward momentum.

Sample coaching question: “What’s the learning or opportunity in this setback?”

2 | Providing Constructive Challenge

Providing constructive challenge is essential for people to step outside their comfort zones and release hidden potential. Just as in sports coaching, where athletes are pushed to their limits to achieve peak performance, the process of being challenged is crucial for personal and professional growth. This approach requires the leader to possess an inner confidence and remain grounded in the relationship with the employee, ensuring that challenges are presented in their best interests. This dynamic instils a lasting sense of empowerment and self-efficacy.

The three characteristics of constructive challenge are:

• Sees the Potential

• Encourages Risk-taking, and

• Inspires through Intrinsic Motivation

Sees the Potential

Believe that everyone can improve. Recognize strengths and create conditions for development so possibilities become visible and actionable.

Sample coaching question: “What’s one small step we can make to progress towards our goal?”

Encourages Risk-taking

Not reckless gambles, but thoughtful stretches.. Build psychological safety so individuals and teams can test ideas, learn from missteps, and innovate.

Sample coaching question: “What can we learn from our most recent mistakes?”

Inspires through Intrinsic Motivation

Connect work to meaning, contribution, and growth; they are drivers that outlast money once basics are met. Be the secure base whose own purpose and passion inspire others.

Sample coaching question: “How does this connect to our purpose and the impact we want to have?”

3 | Courageous Communication
Courageous communication fosters an environment where people feel empowered to speak openly and confidently, tackling challenging topics with courage and advocating effectively. Through this supportive dynamic, employees learn to navigate their interactions with clarity, ultimately enhancing their ability to lead and collaborate.

The three characteristics within courageous communication are:

• Uses listening & inquiry

• Delivers powerful messages, and

• Signals accessibility.

Uses Listening & Inquiry

Practice truly active listening using the eyes, ears, head, heart, nd undivided attention. In the words of Prof. Bill Fischer, focus on being ‘interested, not interesting.’ Ask open-ended questions that help others reflect, contribute their thoughts, and feel genuinely heard, thereby meeting a fundamental human need.

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Sample coaching question: “What would you do in this situation and what do you see as the opportunities and challenges?”

Delivers Powerful Messages

Communicate clearly and consistently to appeal to the head, heart, and hand with information, inspiration, and involvement. Apply the ‘four-sentence rule’ in meetings to avoid long monologues. Sharing short belief statements (I know we can do this) and timely feedback can echo for years.

Sample coaching question: “What do we want our stakeholders to think, feel, and do as a result of our activities?”

One must develop a secure relationship with oneself to effectively provide safety for others.

Signals Accessibility

It is unhealthy to be available 24/7; what is helpful is that people believe you will respond to a request within a reasonable amount of time. Perceived availability reduces anxiety and builds a sense of safety, even across distance and time. Practice being fully present, either remotely or in person, versus being distracted by nearby activity or devices.

Sample coaching question: “How frequently would you like to connect and for how long?”

Becoming F.I.T for Purpose: Coaching from a place of Curiosity, Clarity, and Choice

Tony Jamous, CEO and co-founder of OysterHR, a global HR platform, has actively shaped a coaching culture that empowers global teams through trust, transparency, and intentional leadership. Tony emphasizes that leadership behaviour is foundational, believing teams engage deeply only when leaders model vulnerability, consistency, and openness: “Intentionally showing up as a safe leader, discerning when to care and when to dare, cultivates an environment that maximizes human potential. Moreover, being a safe leader is not just advantageous for others; it significantly benefits the leader. One must develop a secure relationship with oneself to effectively provide safety for others.”

With many executives sharing that they are constantly operating from a place of survival, it becomes vital to co-create the conditions where individuals, teams, and organizations can be ‘F.I.T. for Purpose.’ Through research supported by an AI Platform created by 100Facets.ai, executives assess themselves in terms of Flow (Breath & Body), Intent (Awareness &Agency and Trust (Connection & MeMeaninga nd then receive coaching (from AI and/or a human) to support them in their wellbeing. The F.I.T. tool can be used at both the individual and team levels.

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Conclusion

A power-over leadership style demands compliance; whilst a power-with style invokes commitment. In today’s networked, knowledge-rich, attention-scarce economy, people have a choice: the choice to offer, or to withhold. Leaders who master coaching skills create a culture where people feel empowered to choose to bring their best ideas, energy, and creativity to work. Through cultivating their own curiosity, executives can switch from a fixed, judgmental mindset to a continuous growth mindshift. By caring deeply, daring greatly, and sharing generously, they become secure bases from which extraordinary and sustainable performance emerges.

The question for every leader is therefore not, “Can I afford to spend time coaching?” but rather, “Can I afford not to?